Empty Room - 2 Poems

Empty Room 1

 

At times I’m mad

At times I’m sad

How do I fill that empty room in my heart?

                        
It was there before, behind guarded doors

Before you walked into my heart as if it was yours

           talking about colors that you would bring
           about music that would sing
           about how you’d make it beautiful, if I invited you in. 

I unlocked the doors and you turned on the light

But you never took one step inside 

No colors, no music, no beauty no more

Just the cold wind that rushed in through the door  

I shiver and shrug as I become aware

How much I wanted you there

 

 

Empty Room 2

 

At times I’m angry, at times I’m sad

again to feel the emptiness so bad

of that room inside my heart

that empty space I’ve often had 

 

It was there before, behind guarded doors

before you walked into my heart as if it was yours 

 

Talking about colors that you would bring

about music that would sing,

how you’d make it beautiful

if I invited you in 

 

So I unlocked the door and you turned on the light

but you never took one step inside

 

No colors, no music, no more

just the cold wind that swept in through the door

made me shiver and shrug as I became aware

of what I was really longing for

 

Inside the treasures lay locked for so long,

but forgotten, because my fear was so strong

 

Already there’s beauty inside that room

already it is filled with gloom

but no one inside to bring it alive

just my love buried like in a tomb

 

You made me see the riches in there

and feel the longing I can’t bare 

 

For someone to live

inside my heart and give

meaning to all that’s inside

but it’s hard to believe

 

that I’ll find

someone kind

who will admire

and not be blind

 

 

 

Colors of the Tulip

Only one day without you. 24 hours since the warmth of your hands made my face feel beautiful after your lips departed from mine and your soothing voice told me you would miss me.

Before I lay down I place the pinkish Tulips on my bedroom counter. They remind me of your desire and how you fearlessly pour it out on me. The light green of their leaves and almost transparent pink of their blossoms are fresh and youthful, like the dew-filled countryside reawakening on an early spring morning, when nature is still playful, naive and surprised about the new born colors of the oncoming season. A moment right after creation, so pure and bright and delicate. A time filled with the bliss of hope and anticipation.

Tomorrow morning when I see the Tulips I will be reminded of you and feel the same.

Not even a month has passed since the first Tulip you gave me. You choose my favorite flower, knowing if anything, this would touch my heart. It was an only Tulip, dark purple and meaningful, hinting to the depth in which your feelings are rooted. One single alluring flower as a careful attempt to melt down the frozen guards to the tenderness of my emotions and reveal if I would appreciate your desire for devotion.

I treated it with honor and admiration in the hope its genuine beauty may indeed be a gentle sign of finding just that in your soul. I did not take my eyes off of it and drank its beauty together with the first joys of your emerging affection that came with it.

Till you added a whole bunch of white Tulips to surround it. The blossoms were like a bridal gown, a celebration of the purity of our expectations and a sanctification of the spring in our hearts. Long and elegant, the white Tulips decorated my room, visible wherever I went and slowly I began to feel your continuous presence in my heart.

Their pristine beauty made me believe in my dreams and I wanted them to last forever. My heart would rejoice and my soul be calm, knowing that the promise of love will come true. I could remain happy, could I only believe, rather then having to move on and find out. If the flowers bloomed forever, we would always remain at the genesis and fill our minds with the fantasies of what is to come and live in them without ever being disappointed or without ever failing. Oh, how much delight unfolds at the dawn of romance before it is tried by reality!

Now I gaze at the pink Tulips you brought just before you left for a far destination. They are much like the previous, still. Their color as delicate as the morning light itself, yet a tiny drop of clean blood is mixed in with the white virginity, a pinch of pain is added to the sunrise of our love. It’s the pain of missing each other, the sweet misery of longing which makes the blossoms even more beautiful.

Your absence leaves a hollow inside. How did you fill my heart so soon? I try to bring the sound of your voice into my ears and imagine the smell of your warm skin.

In the morning I will open my eyes and see the Tulips. They remind me of your desire for me and the passion between us. I will look at them slowly opening up and hope they will last till you return.